Shitty Weekend

OK I am over being mad and need to recognize that things are often said in truth without a desire to hurt. I spoke with blueeyes after days of self examination and crying. Yes, crying. I don't cry often but blueeyes has hit something deep. I wish he wasn't so fucking smart.

Back from VA Walked into a Maelstrom

Back from VA. Learned lots of good stuff for the center. Met with blueyes and left mad. Maad I tell you. His honesty and truthfulness are frustrating, but I do like his coping with life. How often have I wondered why am I on this mud globe held by spit and angst. I still mad with him...

Off to VA Beach

Blueyes has dropped me off for my three day crazy trip tp NACADA region 3 in Virginia Beach VA. It has been a hectic week. The advisement team is off to get some professional development. I am excited but as I already know, I can't hangout at the beach due to the many programs I'll have to attend and my skin just plain out burns so easily.

When I was a kid in P.R. we were always doing something outside swimming, the beach or climbing trees. I think I am about due for a melanoma. My dad never thought much about his fair skinned children getting burned. His dark skin, rarely tanned and his dry eczema filled arms never would darken past his scars. Maybe he wanted us to burn. Who knows.

The Hilton in VA BCH is a brand new hotel, I wish blueyes could escape Raleigh and enjoy the time off. He works hard and he's been going at it for well over 19 years. He is a good travel companion. Witty and a steady driver. I think he's a bit lonely since the departure of his pup. He misses her and he's told me that maybeyone day he'll get another.

I miss my dog Montana, she was a beautiful Jack Russell.. Wish she was still around.

Git Me Some

This weekend I stayed over the hunky blue eyed man's lair. This man is a good man. I wish he knew it. Why is it so hard to deal with our inner selves? About two years ago I came to a sad realization. I don't want to be romantically married to anyone. Is it that I am afraid to be hurt...I doubt it! I recovered from Stephen quite well. This breakup helped me get on my feet financially, move to Raleigh and got I myself a house.

I think men like to tie you down because they do not know how to feel with another man. As for me I like blue eyes, enough, he's becoming a friend, a bit of a mentor when it comes to getting around Raleigh. No, he's not perfect, but this is an unnatainable goal. He is a good soul, perhaps sad and darkly deep. I like when he smiles. He hates his teeth, but when he smiles his eyes shine deeply as if he has been to hell and back and he knows it. A survivor, God knows what he's been through....

Sleeping Over

We as men are so weird about sleeping over. It's like please don't move in you freak. All being said, I am such a man. I like my space and often enough I am willing to travel than have one person stay overnight with me. Don't get me wrong I enjoy the feelings and emotions associated with waking up next to another living soul, however it has to be the right one. Something clicks in your head when you find this person. With Steve my ex, I did not share the same bed, it was anoying to hear his talking, snoring and other visicitudes.

I am no angel myself, I snore, wake often and share a bit of restlesness caused by the ocassional heartburn. The last night I was in the arms of morpheus and I slept next to this hunky, blue eyed man. The sex is great, the conversation is even better and he even falls deeply asleep after sex. What is not to like. The best part is that he likes to go to his corner of the bed and so do I. Love it! It's like we men are so territorial it hurts to admit that the company of another being feels good

La Vida Loca trois

Yes the numbers are French Parlais vous francais? Non? Ohh hell! My mom was always a great proponent of education. Thanks to her I went to a parochial school and was educationally challenged. When I was in public school, I always felt slow and not challenged I was bored with my teachers and their methodology.

Once I was of age and the Psychologist insisted to take me and put me in a place where I could be mentored and my IQ would not athrophy. My mom never let me see my IQ results until I was 25 and she gave me all the testing that was done in 5th grade. I became a bit of a trouble in school demanding an audience for attention and doing little skits in class to captivate the attention of my classmates. I according to my dear aunt Brunny, I became a horrid distracting influence of malice and self centeredness. I drove my cousin pochie out of the second grade class that we once shared.

Was I a bad kid, perhaps, I mostly blame my father, he was not a nice guy. He beat me often with reason, but mostly because he was abused himself horribly by my grandfather Siso (Narciso) I even heard how they once kicked him down a set of stairs. Siso and Lenny my uncle and father's brother were proud of this abuse and boasted openly, cruel!

Thanks to mom, Aunt Aida and Esther (Tootsie) I went to La Academia Discipulos de Cristo. This was a strict christian school that would not tolerate my crazy missbehaving. My first week there I was whistling while changing from homeroom to science and I was detained, mom was called and I received a day suspension for whistling... that my folks is strict!

Marc went to a Catholic Carmelite nun run school, you know them flying nuns... He still shudders when he sees a nun fly by.

Go Placidly Amid

My reputation: it has been greatly exagerated by a small number of insular friends who know that within the evil core there is a romantic, looking for his bear. Yes, I have been around this rodeo a couple of times and I have met the love of my life and that too has passed. So what's in store for me now...I am picky often fastidius of whom I sleep with. Kissing is even worse, germphobic, thanks mom. So here's the scoop: I like them taller than me, white, very short hair or balding. Blue eyes, employed with their own living quarters. NO SMOKERS. Can't stand the great ashtray taste. Hairy chest, southern men. They must have meat on their bones, don't trust a skinny man!! He'll eat you out of home trying to fill the hunger in their soul. Meat and potatoes eater fine, shoe size around 10.5 or 11. That way I can enlarge my shoe territory. LOL!

As for other physical requirements: Has to be able to kiss, as for the equipment size, breath and girth are non issues for me. I love long backsides, great legs and a nice tuckus. He must like pets and have a wicked sense of humor. Facial hair is a bonus and if he like to ride ponies well this bronco is a' buking.

La Vida Loca Deux

I was six when my mom caught me dancing in her closet wearing her white knee high gogo boots and blond wig. My mom never said anything other than take off the wig. She was my accomplice, she knew that I was gay and she did not change her love for me. Dancing in the closet was not my first outburtst but one in a series of crazy life transforming instances that are silently recorded in my mind. These boots were made for walking and they'll walk all over you...

I remember going dress shopping with my mom and hidding in the inner part of the dress rack and staring at the women shoppers through the glass of the fixture. I was fascinated by their hair and smooth features. Not wanting to be ignored I often went with my aunts Esther and Aida shopping to San Patricio Plaza, and Plaza Las America's. Mom once described my childhood as idillic, and because of the pampering and attentiveness of my family I believe it was but there are also some pretty dark episodes that involve my father.

Living La Vida Loca

So here I am in Bayamon, PR http://www.gotopuertorico.com/ a suburb of the capital http://welcome.topuertorico.org/city/bayamon.shtml.
My whole family has taken possession of the street, uncles aunts cousins all live on the same street walking distance from each other. I bet Grandpa was happy, grandma certainly was. God bless her soul! She was the kindest sweetest woman in the world. She spoiled me rotten too! Antonia was a distinguished name, she was a proud, not arrogant woman who could cook and always made you smile. I miss her!

Grandpa was strict, but also a generous soul, he used to take me to the Banco Popular Branch in the Santa Rosa Shopping Center and he would always take me to Belk to buy something. Grandpa was also the field Marshall type, he took charge of a situation and he instilled this gift on me. I admired him for his big blue gray eyes. My eyes were hazel green like my mother's and grandpa used to kid me that I also had her moods, God he was right!