La Bitcherie/ I know its hot!

This is the first installment of BITCHTATOR a fictionalized piece or writing based upon my 15 years of higher education expeience.



Bitchtator …
A humorous accounting of a small southern black liberal arts college spinning out of control.

Setting: A midsize, southern town, Southern Piedmont, NC
Delta Institute of Polytechnics College …DIP, Founded in 1869 by the Church of the Irreverent Sacrament, a splinter group of Zion AME, but with a more relaxed view on doctrine.

Characters:
President…Dr. Doana Savon Biddy (Phd Animal Psychology)
VP/Provost…Dr. Kent Von Klampt (Phd Mathematics)
Assistant to the President…Ms. Sissy Lumbee (No degree, highly devoted to Dr. Biddy)
President Faculty Senate…Dr. Charles Ezekiel Strickland IV
Dean of STUDents…. Dr. Lemange Trannie
School Chaplain… Dr. Father Terrior Foyd
Philosophy Professor…Dr. Jose Orta
Receiving Staff… Heckle & Jeckyl Jones
Art Faculty… Ms. Sonja Lustefisk
Director of Emails Ezekiel… Chum
Philosophy Department Head…Ms. Kizzy Lee, working on he PhD at Dogtrout Internet College
Caféteria Lady…ShaunDra Summers

The campus quad was covered in the morning midst. The rose garden had just been replanted when the campus bells tolled the 8 am this morning. Students rushed past Jose Orta who had just joined the college as a faculty member. He had his newly minted Phd in Philosophy from the University of Illinois and was exited to be joining the illustrious faculty at DIP College. Jose is running late because he just met someone new and it was their first date. A new year, a new beginnings an opportunity for Jose to be a pedagogue but first a meeting with his department head just before getting settled in his new appointment. Dr. Lee as jokingly known by her peers who resented Kizzy’s constant position climbing and lack of a terminal degree but she had it in with Dr. Biddy because she shared the same hairstylist; Jittery Jojo’s Salon. Her hair had been stretched strained and burnt to the point the only hairstyle she could pull off demanded that she wear a wig.

Professor Lee, seldom arrived on campus before 10 am but today she had to meet a new faculty member at 8:30 am. She fired her fifth administrative assistant this year because, of making that horrible mistake of setting up an appointment before 11 AM. Professor Lee behaved like the campus queen, she only deferred that title to Dr. Biddy. As she arrived on campus with her freshly glued on nails and haphazard smile she noticed that Dr. Jose Orta was making it along to the quad to her meeting, she sped her 360 SEL Mercedes through the parking lot to her spot in front of her offices. She ran out of her car and greeted her temp and proceeded to pretend she had been laboring overnight in her office preparing for Dr. Orta’s meeting.