Taking ME Vitamins

I started taking vitamins about a month ago to help supplement my iron poor diet. I hope they are doing something. I certainly do not feel full of pep and vigor. This last two weeks have been hard taking on a new job. So far I like the 10-15 hours per week. I am not a workaholic, so anything over 40 hours is a drag, however I haven't felt it to be hard work at BORDERS. It seems that after 3 years they have worked out the many repetitious functions and dubiious procedures that used to irk me.

Today I am meeting with my least favored advisee, he is needy and a bit hard to swallow. He's a liar and chief manipulator. I guess I have never liked these kind of characters. I have been dreaming a lot about a friend of mine and If I hadn't said it before... I see things in my dreams not visions but vivid pictures of events that have happened or will happen.

Ever since I was a little kid, I have been troubled by some pretty serious dreams. Last night in a vivid color dream, I saw my friend head back into his cycle of drinking. He was away on a trip. He drank himself into passing out. I awoke at 3:50AM. I was upset, but then after going to the bathroom I went back to sleep. The dream continued and I saw him passed out and me just standing there, my back turned away from him.

I think there is a bit of truth to the dream, I no longer will enable my friend nor respond to his disease. My heart has not hardened by wisened to the sheer fact that in my desire to help, I did harm. Time out for me.

Monday night Lee & Kevin spoke of Antonio. That Brazilian nutcase who I dated briefly in the Fall '03 and Spring '04. Nutcase because after 40 years he had failed to come to term with beig gay but he was a swet soul. Tonio Miss you man. We made some Joyous noise.